The Gift of Pain

There is just about nothing more exhillarating, primal and joyful for me than running with dogs. On leash or off, the experience never fails to make me feel super-human, because it taps into the Animal in me. Of late, I have been denied my favorite thing, and most pertinent outlet for releasing stress, because my hips have been out of commission. Based on the self-diagnosis-by-internet-sleuthing I've done, I have surmised that the problem is bursitis. The fluid filled areas in my hip sockets are dried out, or something like that. The bottom line is, I have too much pain to run, no matter how hard I attempt to push myself beyond the limitation this pain imposes.

This has happened before - many times. As a runner, I have dealt with many stretches of time marred by injury, during which running simply wasn't an option. Every time it happens, I feel like it's the end of the world, and that I will never be able to run again. Then, in my more enlightened moments, I think about how blessed I am to have the ability to WALK, much less run. And I remind myself of all the blessings that have resulted from these "rest" periods, which I do - on some level - believe are good for me, and make me a stronger runner in the bigger picture.

During college, when I had tendonitis in my knees (from running too much), I began doing things I had always stubbornly resisted before - like swimming in our school's beautiful indoor pool, (and rewarding myself afterward with a stretching session in the sauna). It was also then that I remembered, and began to relive, the childhood fun of riding a bike! A few months ago, when I broke my toe, I was so frustrated about not being able to run! But I got creative, and invented a new sport: Crutch Vaulting! I'd put on my headphones, blast some Niki Minaj or Adam Lambert, and head out under the stars to catapult around the neighborhood, the best times being under a light tropical rain.

Over these last two months, and currently, as I wait out this hip pain, I have gotten deeper into my yoga practice, and have even begun to meditate. Chew and I also walk two or three miles every afternoon, which is both of our favorite part of the day. I always forget how wonderful (and in fact addicting) long walks can be; because I tend to compare the fitness benefits of walking to those of running, and then discount all that walking has to offer! These are things that - when I am up to my full energy capacity and physical capability - I can't let myself slow down enough to enjoy. But they are also things that I have always wanted and needed to do.

So on that note, I thank this bursitis for the gift of pain, that has stretched me beyond my comfort zone, and shown me alternatives to running that are just as valuable.

Yes, this is indeed how I must - and will - choose to think about it.