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04-25-13
Elyse is the amazing girl I've been training this semester; and one of four dogs who will be graduating as a full-fledged service dog alongside her new Forever-Handler, (and our Associates class), at next weekend's graduation ceremony.
There is no getting around how emotionally challenging it is to become so utterly close with a dog and then, within an instant, have to turn it off. We aren't expected to turn our love off, because that is impossible. However, we must shut off the flow of our emotion that is directed toward that dog, cutting off all physical contact, eye contact, even subconscious contact. We must hand over the leash, and with it, the potential for the dog and their new person to bond fully and without imposition or interference from us.
The first few days of Client Training are very hard for everyone involved. The dogs are anxious, looking for their trainers, not engaged with the clients, unwilling to work for them. We - the trainers - are trying to avoid our dogs, simultaneously hurting because we want them to know that we STILL LOVE THEM, that we aren't ignoring them because we want to, but only because it is a crucial part of the bonding process between them and the individuals they will serve. The clients are frustrated because they feel they cannot connect with the dogs, and that they must be doing something wrong for the complete lack of interest or respect shown to them by the dogs. It is HARD.
But inevitably...magic begins to happen on about the fourth day.
While I've tried my hardest to avoid being near Elyse during training sessions and in between classes, I am also the resident photographer, capturing images of Client Training to put in a slideshow for graduation. So in every picture I had taken of Elyse - until today - her eyes were sad, and looking directly through my lens...into my soul. It was as if she was saying, "Why?"
As of this morning, though, her staring in my direction had been replaced - in bursts here and there - by time spent getting to know her new person, Nancy. They've begun to get closer, and their closeness will increase exponentially starting now, at which point they are umbilical corded together by the leash, 24 hours a day, for the next week.
Our last session today was spent preparing the clients to take their dogs with them for the first time. Car loading, supplies, etc. I was snapping pictures, as usual, when I caught this one...Elyse, not with sad eyes, but with a huge , genuine SMILE. To me, this face says "Oh, I see now. I know why. And I am ready to go. And...I love you too".
(The following entries are each also entered as individual posts on the main page of this blog. In those entries, accompanying photos are included.)
12-25-12
'Twas the day before I was to board a Denver-bound plane for the Holidays, and nothing but confusion was stirring, as to whether or not I would bring my service-pup-in-training, six month old Kristina, home with me.
As her sole trainer since she was four weeks old, I so badly wanted to provide her with this growth experience. But for many reasons, namely that her presence around my Dad's pets would likely cause more stress than joy, I intuitively felt like it wouldn't be the best idea.
Conflicted and frustrated, I had turned all possible scenarios over and over in my mind; and ultimately - by the day before my departure - had determined that I should probably leave her behind. Though I was decided, I certainly was not resolved. I knew what I needed to do, but it made me sad - and worried that I would feel regret and/or guilt - to have to do it.
So, for our last day together, I took Kristina to Spring Lake for some quality outdoor time. At the end of our long walk/jog, we sat on a bench alongside the trail to breathe in the beauty of the afternoon and watch from a distance as the ducks splashed in the lake. Within a few minutes, a lovely couple walked by with their eight year old golden lab, Kobe, who had the sweet, gentle eyes of an old soul, and jingle bells around his collar. With the dogs as common ground, we struck up a conversation that quickly morphed into an excited exchange of magical possibilities.
The couple were Kat and Sandrew, who, by the synchronistic powers of fate, happen to know Bonnie Bergin, and have in fact raised puppies for CCI - Canine Companions for Independence. Not only were they already versed in service dog training vernacular, but it also turns out that Kat is an animal advocate in heart, soul and practice! She runs a nationwide animal rescue database, and for so many other reasons, struck me immediately as someone in whose care I would feel more than comfortable leaving Kristina.
Throwing the caution that generally accompanies "random meetings of strangers" to the wind, I told Kat and Sandrew my story. I poured forth my dilemma, and - intuitively feeling like it might actually interest them - asked if they might consider fostering Kristina for the next two weeks.
At the mention of the idea, we all marveled at the notion that it just might work, and predicted that a "Christmas Miracle" just may be unfolding. For the next 30 minutes, Kat and Sandrew took turns with Kristina's leash, walking her up and down the trail, having her interact with their dog, and thinking aloud as they began pondering a big decision of their own. At one point, two women passed us coming the opposite direction on the trail, and all three of us heard one of them say, in no discernible context, something about a "Christmas Miracle". As we had just used those exact words in reference to the dog, this was uncanny, and a very "meaningful coincidence". I think for all of us, this kind of "sealed the deal". We said our goodbyes, and my new friends told me they would let Lauren at the school know by later that afternoon what they had decided.
Before I had even made it home, Lauren called and told me she had spoken with Kat, and that she would be taking Kristina to their house the following morning (to meet the couple and, if all went well, drop the puppy off with them).
Kristina and I spent our last night together, happy and snuggling in front of the Christmas tree. Relieved, and elated that she would be having an adventure all her own, I dropped Kristina off at the school on my way to the airport the next morning. I took off for Denver knowing that this amazing puppy would indeed have a growth experience, and would be in the hands of two loving, highly capable people...and their golden boy Kobe!
I also felt so thankful that I could spend my vacation relaxing, enjoying a break from training, and getting the very most out of time spent with my human, canine and feline family members at home in Colorado.
Kat and Sandrew, I can't thank you enough. What a GIFT it was to meet you that day in the park, and to know you now. God and Dog Bless, and Merry Christmas!
01-08-13
Today, we began preparing for our upcoming trip to a local elementary school, where we will help kids who are struggling to read by providing them with non-judgmental reading companions. In this social therapy role, the dogs sit beside the kids and listen as they sound out words, motivated to learn by the power of puppy love. In order to keep the dogs from associating reading time with nap time, we train them to stay engaged and look at the pages during story time.
01-13-13
Chew and I just took one last, long walk along our favorite neighborhood path, trudging along the muddy creekside, intermittently bounding up to the asphalt trail that runs alongside it. This evening, the sun set on my chapter with Chew. Tomorrow morning, I will be assigned a new dog for second semester; as Chew's journey takes him to a whole new facility. Chew will no longer be training on the Bergin campus with a student. Rather, he will head to the V.A. Hospital in Menlo Park, where Bonnie's PAWS FOR PURPLE HEARTS program is run. Chew will work with Veterans, helping them overcome the debilitating elements of PTSD. As he has done for me, Chew will give these emotionally, psychologically and spiritually wounded warriors the opportunity to heal, through cultivating a relationship of love and trust with him. I am blessed to have been Chew's student-trainer for the last five months. And tomorrow - I will send him off with all the love and strength in my heart. I will consciously decide not to be sad or downhearted. I also won't shut my emotions down, thereby denying the human experience this work entails, its rightful expression. Instead - as Bonnie has taught me to do...has shown me I CAN do...I will convert the sadness over letting go, into fuel that will ignite Chew and me both. For what Chew and I share is what we as a canine-human team have built, nourished and developed. It is the love that both of us are. And its glow will caste faith over both of our paths, as here they diverge. I love you, Chew. And I will miss your deep, soulful eyes, my sweet friend. Go and do your important work in the world, Chewie. And I will do mine. And you will forever shine through in all the work I do!
01-18-13
Since returning to school a week and a half ago, we have done several incredibly cool things! We said goodbye to our first semester dogs, and hello to our second semester dogs, which was emotional on many levels. Chew, along with two other dogs from our class, Fagan and Hannah, joined the PAWS FOR PURPLE HEARTS program in Menlo Park, where he/they will be working with veterans with PTSD. As this is an entirely different facility and program, and therefore will be completely different than his experience on the Bergin campus, I think it will be good for Chew. Even though I worry slightly about his sensitivity to transition, I have faith that he will do great. I think he is going to really spread his wings, and find his niche. And if that isn't the case, then another role will be designated for Chew. No matter what he does, I know he will do great. I love and miss him, but I'm happy for him and excited about his new opportunity at the VA hospital.
I have also fallen head over heels for my new canine companion, Elyse. Dogs' absolute presence "in the moment" carries over into the immediacy of the emotional connection between us and them. Not a minute passed between the instant I took Elyse's leash, and the instant I completely loved her. Dogs' hearts are just that pure. And Elyse, in particular, is one of the sweetest of them all!
Meanwhile, we've had a variety of awesome seminars and guest speakers over the last several days. I constantly reflect on how LUCKY we are to be students at Bergin...and how we are really part of something entirely unique...and truly amazing.
Here are some snapshots of all the cool things we've been doing...
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We completed a pet CPR and First Aid class...
Since returning to school a week and a half ago, we have done several incredibly cool things! We said goodbye to our first semester dogs, and hello to our second semester dogs, which was emotional on many levels. Chew, along with two other dogs from our class, Fagan and Hannah, joined the PAWS FOR PURPLE HEARTS program in Menlo Park, where he/they will be working with veterans with PTSD. As this is an entirely different facility and program, and therefore will be completely different than his experience on the Bergin campus, I think it will be good for Chew. Even though I worry slightly about his sensitivity to transition, I have faith that he will do great. I think he is going to really spread his wings, and find his niche. And if that isn't the case, then another role will be designated for Chew. No matter what he does, I know he will do great. I love and miss him, but I'm happy for him and excited about his new opportunity at the VA hospital.
I have also fallen head over heels for my new canine companion, Elyse. Dogs' absolute presence "in the moment" carries over into the immediacy of the emotional connection between us and them. Not a minute passed between the instant I took Elyse's leash, and the instant I completely loved her. Dogs' hearts are just that pure. And Elyse, in particular, is one of the sweetest of them all!
Meanwhile, we've had a variety of awesome seminars and guest speakers over the last several days. I constantly reflect on how LUCKY we are to be students at Bergin...and how we are really part of something entirely unique...and truly amazing.
Here are some snapshots of all the cool things we've been doing...
* * *
* We completed a pet CPR and First Aid class.
* We visited Louisa Craviatto's awesome facility in Petaluma, a hydrotherapy
center for dogs! http://www.theswimmingdog.com/.
• We've been practicing our reading-with-dogs skills, as we will soon get our elementary school assignments, and begin working with kids! For that, I cannot wait! To help us prepare, Bonnie came around to each pair of us, lay down on the floor and emulated a little kid. It was adorable and funny.
01-26-13
Dear Fellow Bergin Students, Staff & Volunteers:
I'm deeply upset by how overweight Rags kitty is. In a school full of service dogs, I fear that our sweet cat - whose job it is to work for the betterment of the dogs and is, therefore, herself a service animal - gets overlooked. Yes, Rags has a ton of fur. And yes, she is precious and roley poley just the way she is. But all of that extra weight she carries is NOT cute, or funny. It's not even okay. It is a problem, and it makes me extremely sad. Angry, even.
Because of Rags' unique living situation, and the collective working environment at Bergin, WE ARE ALL RESPONSIBLE for keeping Rags healthy! I know many perceive of her as "just the fat campus cat", but she is so much more than that.
She is a beautiful, graceful feline soul, whose wild counterparts and ancestors are cunning huntresses, stalking and running down prey in the dark of night. Rags has the same primal spirit in her, and it is her God given right to be able to channel that energy in whatever ways a domestic cat is able. It is UP TO US to give her that opportunity!
So I ask, even BEG, everyone... PLEASE..When it is your turn to feed Rags, spend some time with her! PLAY with her! Get her up and running around! Take five minutes out of your lunch break to flash a laser beam or a catnip mouse for her to chase around the room!
Quickly dashing into Bonnie's office and throwing food in her bowl simply isn't enough. Yes, it will keep her alive. But food isn't the only subsistence a kitty needs in order to thrive, and be the happy, healthy girl she deserves to be. It is play, exercise, and the loving interaction in which these gifts are given, for which Rags is starving.
01-31-13
Duke is the sweet boy I am caring for this weekend in Petaluma. We had a nice pre-sunset walk this afternoon, and are now relaxing by the fireplace watching Seinfeld reruns.
Duke is an 8 and 1/2 year old "lab mix", maybe some Sheppard, maybe some Chow, maybe some Heeler...Definitely all kinds of sweet and mellow!
Because Duke's hips are compromised, we can't play ball or do too much strenuous walking. So instead, we are going to take daily walks that are good for us, but not overly challenging. And on Sunday, I am taking Duke to see our friend Louisa at The Swimming Dog, where he will be able to soak in warm water while doing some anti-gravity treadmill work...and will get to swim in the bigger therapy pool as well. I can't wait, as I know it will feel so good on Duke's joints...and will be an over all cleansing for him. I know that, for me, swimming always brings with it the gift of "healing feelings"!
02-03-13
Today I took my new new buddy Duke to see Louisa at her wonderful water therapy facility, The Swimming Dog. While Louisa swims with tons of dogs every week, she said she has never seen a dog have as much fun as Duke did today. It was amazing to watch. This normally quiet, subtly happy boy became a puppy before our very eyes. He hesitated to go in the water for all of about three minutes, but soon enough, he was swimming lap after lap after lap, whining joyfully as he gathered up toy after toy from the far end of the pool and brought it back to be thrown again. I've only known Duke for a short while, but seeing him so animated and blissful in the water made me hope I might get to bring him back to the pool on a regular basis. Because of his older age and hip dysplasia, (Louisa and) I (both) believe he is the perfect candidate for regular swim therapy.
02-10-13
This past Friday, we took our second trip to the elementary school where we've each been paired up with kids that read "to the dogs" for 30 minutes at a time. This will be an ongoing appointment, every Friday throughout the semester. Elyse and I have been paired with two different girls, one whom I will refer to as R. and the other as A.
R. is nine years old, a third grader. Her reading level is perfectly acceptable, if not advanced for her age. She just seems a little shy, which is why I imagine they've chosen to involve her in the dog program. She mostly just answered my questions, didn't talk too much otherwise. Though she does seem interested in Elyse. And, within ten minutes of our first meeting, while stroking Elyse's fur and gazing down at her paws, she revealed to me that her father died less than a year ago. Her mother has not told her how or why.
A. is twelve Years old, a sixth-grader. Hers is another case in which reading is no problem. In fact, I was pretty impressed when she pulled out The Hunger Games and read aloud with perfect pronunciation and comprehension. I get the feeling that A. is very smart, possibly to the point of social detriment. Her school counselor said she's been acting up lately, and that they want to help build her self-esteem by having her interact with Elyse in the reading program.
*****
Next, we took the adult dogs to the fire station in Rohnert Park so that they could become desensitized to the unusual sights and sounds there. A fire woman, dressed in all her garb, met each dog one at a time, offering treats and kindness. None of the dogs seemed bothered by the strange clothing, even the gas mask. Elyse in particular just loved this woman; didn't even care about the treats, just wanted to nuzzle her and lean into her legs.
After that, we led the dogs to the far corner of the parking lot and offered them treats while the firemen sounded the sirens. The dogs all did great!
02-19-13
Today, we visited a lovely assisted living facility, where we had the dogs demonstrate some of their best commands for a small audience. Elyse fetched the newspaper and brought it to me (though not before trying to chew a corner off first ;) She also delighted the residents when she took my sock off with a good TUG! Elaine and Eldridge turned on lights, Ellie pushed the "Easy Button", the dogs "went to bed" on a series of towels we had line up on the floor. Farmer really stole the show. She fetched a set of plastic keys, then a giant, funny looking hat, and brought them to Mollie. And for the big closing act, she took a bouquet of pink plastic flowers to a very delighted lady in the crowd!
After the demonstration, we spent some time visiting with the residents, while the dogs settled in by their sides, or with heads or paws in their laps, bringing love and joy to their drizzly Tuesday morning.
Elyse was especially fond of a precious lady named Ann, shown in the pictures below. Elyse put her paw up on Ann's lap, and stayed that way for about five minutes while Ann stroked her soft head and looked into her big, deep chocolate brown eyes, and said over and over again, "Well aren't you pretty? Yes you are...yes you are."
03-31-13
…In Response to Cesar Millan’s Critics on Bergin’s FB Page
Cesar’s critics would claim that their awful, negative comments here are because of their concern for dogs. But I don’t buy it. Disagreeing with someone’s training style is one thing. But when one feels the need to attack another’s character with such (wrongfully-directed) vehemence, there is a personal vendetta playing out. And really, this type of emotionally charged mud slinging does nothing to create a sensible argument for consideration. Notice that Cesar Millan does not have to drag others’ practices through the dirt in order to justify or promote his own. Cesar’s way stands on its own merit, and his positive influence on the world’s dogs and people speaks for itself.
I suspect that Cesar’s doubters are defensive, because despite the daunting nature of their educational credits and expertise – valid though it may be - I imagine they probably lack the primal, intuitive connection with dogs that Cesar so naturally embodies. Because Cesar has manifested his incredible Life’s Work without the preordained authority granted by degrees of higher education, perhaps his success threatens others whose perceived self-importance and prestige is based in large part on their impressive titles. But then, all great revolutionaries are confronted with the backlash of bruised Egos. Such is why the oppositional movement attempting to discount Cesar’s methods as “inhumane” and “abusive” comes as no surprise.
Another example of a “refuted revolutionary” in the world of human-animal relationships, (and another great hero of mine), is Jane Goodall. Along with fellow famed primatologists, Dianne Fossey who studied gorillas, and Beruti Geldikas who studied orangutans, Jane was chosen for her mission in part because of her lack of a traditional education. At that time, animal behavior curriculum was based on the robotic “reward/punishment” system of B.F.Skinner, who believed that animals were not sentient, living beings, but lifeless machines that functioned solely on a black and white, cause and effect basis for behavior.
Louis Leakey – known as the Father of Anthropology – specifically chose the three women because (a) They were female, and would thus bring a different, more organic and empathetic perception to the study of animal behavior, than what (for example) watching lab rats push levers for cocaine could offer; and (b) Because their minds had not yet been inundated with the accepted academic philosophy of the times, which left their minds open to learning about the animals’ natural state of being through untainted observation.
Given the freedom to connect with chimpanzees instinctually and spiritually, rather than methodologically, Jane Goodall shifted the whole world’s comprehension of what Great Apes actually are, and who we (human beings) are in their reflection. Just as Cesar does, Ms. Goodall faced violent opposition from people whose belief systems and schools of thought were threatened by her work, and its implications for the future of their field.
I believe what might truly upset Cesar’s critics is that his methods involve something more organic, intangible, and difficult to master than typical training methods. Cesar’s way involves leadership based on instinct, humility and hard-won confidence, rather than systematic control of an animal’s behavior through practicing quantifiable steps. Cesar’s way involves his unique life experience, his particular energetic aura, his ability to influence dogs’ behavior without the aid of food or conditioning, and the conscious practice of Instinctual Intelligence, which he has cultivated by tapping into his Inner Animal, using it as his primary form of education. To hone Cesar’s methods, one must learn precisely that which cannot be taught in a classroom. It is something that must be brought to life from within a person’s higher consciousness.
Cesar is spearheading an inevitable revolution. And the higher truth will overcome the weakening belief systems of the disappearing present. Eventually, the old ways will die out, just as useless appendages evolve out of a species over time. And as they do, the climate will turn from one of hostile opposition, to one that enables the Whisperer within us all to be recognized, and to thrive.
04-04-13
The Ethics of Service and Working Dogs
For many years, I studied and worked with whales and dolphins. I entered this field after having been inundated with more-than-real dreams about swimming in the wide open ocean with these amazing beings. While my plan was NEVER to have a career working with animals in captivity, I did internships in various places where humans and cetaceans interfaced, including a zoo, an aquarium (in the education department), and a rescue/rehab facility in Clearwater, FL, where animals were only held in-house until they were healthy enough to be released back into the wild. The animals that lived in the facility permanently did so because they were injured beyond repair, and therefore release was not an option for them.
At the Clearwater Marine Aquarium, I interned in a program called Full Circle, which brought children with special needs and animals with disabilities together for the reciprocal healing of all involved.
While this facility and program were upstanding and ethically sound, I eventually worked my way through - and out the other side of - all fields to do with humans working with whales and dolphins (including wild whale research and whale watching in Hawaii). As I was living in Hawaii, having chance encounters with wild spinner dolphins when fate called for it, and otherwise hanging out on land with dogs, I had the realization that we humans are not meant to be earthly partners with cetaceans, whereas with dogs, that is exactly what is meant to be. While we are meant to appreciate whales and dolphins from afar, almost abstractly, we have co-evolved to live side-by-side, hand-in-paw if you will, with dogs. As caregivers, stewards and friends to dogs, it is our job to fulfill their needs, one of which, I believe, is having a job.
So, while I feel it is 100% wrong, unethical and inhumane to give "jobs" to whales (i.e. jumping through hoops for stupid people's "entertainment"); I feel it is almost unethical NOT to give dogs jobs. I don't mean that every dog should be a service dog or a professional working dog. Even if a dog's job is to sit when you ask him to, or get the mail from the floor in front of the mail slot each afternoon and bring it to you...we owe it to our dogs to stimulate their minds, keep them busy with productive activities, and help them find purpose in their lives. I absolutely believe that a dog doing service work feels - on some level - the same joy, pride and love that we humans feel for doing good in the world.
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Friday, October 26, 2012
Every Thursday from now on, we will bring our (now 14 week old) puppies home with us. Chew and Farmer will have Thursday Sleepovers with The Irelands, while my baby girl Kristina (along with her brothers, golden boys King and Kolenko, and a black lab pup named Jay) come to stay at our house. This is both tremendous fun and a bit of mayhem, as the pups aren't quite housebroken yet. They are canine toddlers and therefore require constant supervision. They cry when they're tired, hungry and/or cranky; they eat every single thing they see on the floor; they potty anywhere and everywhere at any time; they chew on stuff and get into everything. They also happen to be the cutest things in the entire world.
Today was the puppies' first day out in the world! Until now, they hadn't been completely vaccinated. But today...we took them to Santa Rosa Plaza MALL! We practiced riding the escalators with them, first holding them in our arms, and going as a group of eight students packed tightly together to encourage the pups' sense of security.On the second go, we led the puppies on their leashes, and made a BIG DEAL out of how fun and awesome it was to ride the escalator. We whooped and hollered and fed the pups a steady stream of treats as we practiced getting them used to this foreign situation. Of course, our bonds with these baby dogs is just now at a point where this kind of thing is plausible. The puppies know us well enough now to feel safe with us, and that is an incredible feeling. From this exercise - as from all of our training sessions with the puppies - I feel great pride for both the puppies' and the students' progress.
My Big Girl.
Kristina and Me
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Jodie and King
Daniel and Kolenko
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Rebecca and Kessler
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Lanea and Krucker
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Here's Kristina, giving a passerby some puppy love!
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After taking the puppies back to school, we picked up our adult dogs and hit the bowling alley. Yes, that's right, this was our school day!
As is the purpose of all our Friday field trips, going to the bowling alley was meant to get the dogs accustomed to being in yet another new public context. This one was especially difficult for the dogs who can't hold themselves back in the presence of fast-moving objects, specifically balls.
Chew, of course, laid down and slept as my classmates and I played a game. SUCH A GOOD BOY!
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Thursday, October 18th, 2012
Josh came to Bergin today!
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Thursday, October 11, 2012, 4:43 PM
With so much keeping me busy, it's easy to let the journaling thing slide. Though I am really trying to hold myself accountable; because I know that having this record of my development as a trainer, and of my different dogs' development throughout the year, will be very valuable.
Since I last checked in, we hit a bit of a bump in the road. Long story short, Chew got into a fight with another dog (over a ball). It happened in the play yard at school, though ironically, it was with Eric, the other golden that lives in our house. While the two boys have never had so much as a sideways glance between them at home, the energy in the yard simply got out of control, and Chew came away from it with a stitch in his eyelid, and another "smudge" on his record, so to speak.
I was very shaken about the whole thing when it happened, but have since gained some perspective, which is helping me move forward without holding onto any negative thoughts about the situation.
The day after it happened, I had a heart to heart talk with Bonnie, during which I (like I'm sure is the case for the majority of her students), broke down and had a good cry. Bonnie - as always - was supportive and encouraging. She gave me a big hug, and empathized with my disappointment. She said she has been through the same kind of thing countless times, and knows it it not easy. I don't just mean the dog fight. The bigger picture to which I am referring is the question of Chew's over all suitability to be a service dog for someone with severe physical disabilities and mobility issues.
Because he has had issues with other dogs in the past, he had already been put into the category of potential PTSD Service Dog candidates. This type of work would make more sense for Chew, as an able-bodied person would have the physical ability to intervene, should Chew have any more altercations in the future. Even though Chew wasn't the aggressor in either of his bad situations, I do believe his possessiveness over balls or toys was (at least in part) to blame for the tension that led to those conflicts.
THIS IS WHERE I WOULD GIVE MY RIGHT ARM TO GET CESAR MILLAN'S PERSPECTIVE. I have been trying (so conscientiously) to figure out where Chew's feelings of insecurity/ defensiveness are coming from, and working on helping him resolve these issues. Hence my (Ego's) disappointment in that I haven't been able to "Whisper" his problems away in no time flat.
Bonnie's insight was tremendously helpful. First of all, she said that in no way is Chew "blacklisted" at this point. She said she still has a lot of thinking to do, and I am confident that whatever her final decision is, it will be the right one, for Chew first and foremost. We talked about the fact that there is no such thing as FAILURE in this program, for either the dogs or the student-trainers. Bonnie reminded me that they keep dogs that won't necessarily make full-fledged service dogs in the program for good reason, which is so that we, the students, can can experience exactly what I was experiencing as we spoke.
I had already decided that I was going to move forward as though there was no doubt in my mind that Chew would become the greatest service dog of all time. In other words, I have always, and will continue to, expect the very most from him in each moment, no matter how the situation unfolds over time. Bonnie encouraged that idea, and reminded me to focus on Chew's MANY strengths, to develop and refine those further.
*****
Just now, Chew and I returned from our afternoon walk/ training session. I don't typically use our walks as a time for focused training, but today, I used the wheelchair (that Daniel provided for the house, having gotten it from his grandfather), to intensify the training context. I wheeled all the way to the park near our house, my arm muscles ON FIRE after half a block! Not only did I gain even more respect for people who use wheelchairs than I had before, but I watched with great pride as Chew - dressed in his "professional attire" - fell in line right beside me to the left of the chair, and did just what he knew he was supposed to do. We worked on his WAIT at every intersection, worked on HEEL and SIDE (meaning for him to walk right beside me on either my left or right, depending on the command). Worked on many things...
I was struck with the weight of responsibility...to continue providing Chew every opportunity to thrive and shine. Because every time I do, shine he does. As Chew and I returned home and parked the wheelchair back in the garage, he looked into my eyes with purpose and urgency, drool just starting to drip, and told me IT WAS DINNER TIME!
With that, I will say this: No matter what his future holds, Chew will make every single person he meets happier than they were before being blessed with knowing him.
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Tuesday, September 25, 2012, 10:18 AM
Today, We made a real, tangible breakthrough in one of Chew's few (but crucial) "problem areas". Interestingly enough, it came about as the result of conscious "Dog Whispering" on my part and the part of my roommate, Daniel.
As all who know me are acutely aware, I am a big time believer in Cesar Millan's teachings; and have worked for years - with every dog I've spent time with - to cultivate my own Calm Assertive Leadership skills. But only as many times as I can count on half of one hand, have I truly felt like the REAL WHISPERER WITHIN ME was at work, in such a way that I got those kind of seemingly "magical" results in the moment, like Cesar does in every scene of his show, and on every page of his books.
What has been really interesting about attending Bergin University, is that while we are students at the school, we are to learn and practice the "Bergin Way" of handling and training dogs. This is Bonnie (Bergin's) lifelong work, and we are extraordinarily fortunate to be learning it directly from her. However, it is a very specific style of working with dogs, just as is Cesar's Way.
In some respects, Bonnie and Cesar's "Ways" Are quite similar. However, in others, they are completely different. This is because Bonnie's methods are specifically geared toward training service dogs, who could potentially end up serving People with limited to virtually no mobility. Therefore, there is a very specific purpose for each of the behaviors trained, and in fact the very manner in which they are taught and executed.
At any rate, it has been an interesting learning experience in and of itself to integrate Bonnie's teachings into a mind already so influenced by Cesar's teachings, along with my own summation thereof; and my personal understanding (of dogs, and myself as a Trainer/Whisperer) based on experience.
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One of Chew's pervasive negative issues is that he "resource guards" balls, toys, bones,, etc. FROM OTHER DOGS. He is in no way possessive of his food or space or toys when PEOPLE are involved; but with other dogs, it has become a real problem. Whenever Chew is running and playing in the field at school, he is not so much running around care free and having fun, as he is trying to make sure HE has the ball, and that no other dog is able to take it from him.
At home, when he has a rawhide or a kong or whatever, and any of the other dogs come near him, he growls quietly under his breath. THIS IS NOT AN ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR FOR A SERVICE DOG. Therefore it is my job - and has been of utmost importance in our training process since I've had Chew in my care - to resolve this issue.
Of course, it is easy - natural, maybe - to get caught up in my own head about it. And think more about "stopping the behavior" than getting to the root of the STATE OF MIND from which the problem manifests. But today I really tried to envision what Cesar would do in this situation...
Chew and I had come back from a walk, and I was in the kitchen getting a glass of water, when I heard a yelp coming from the living room. Bria and Chew had had some sort of altercation, though the details are unclear as to exactly what happened. I THINK what happened was that Bria was super excited to see Chew, and was jumping all over him, after he had run in and picked up his half-eaten rawhide, and he thought she was coming to take it from him, so he "snapped".
Rather than simply taking away the rawhide and telling him NO, reprimanding the behavior, I decided we needed to face it head on IN THAT MOMENT. Like Cesar says, these moments of distress and discord are golden teaching opportunities...As we can never resolve what we can't see or choose not to acknowledge (okay, there's a bit of Dr. Phil in there too ;)
So I had Chew lay down, and commanded him to STAY. I asked him to GIVE the rawhide, which he eventually did, though it was obvious he did NOT want to relinquish what little control he felt he had by holding onto it. Meanwhile, I asked Daniel to stick around, and keep Bria right there in front of Chew. He put her in a DOWN/STAY also, and I had him give the rawhide to her. Chew got very tense and uneasy. He wouldn't look at me, and wanted to get up, but I calmly (and assertive,y) kept him lying there in front of me, next to Bria, while she chewed on the rawhide.
While he doesn't normally do it, he had gotten into such a frenzy in this altercation with Bria that he had ALMOST bared his teeth. And had the "Elvis lip" going. So as soon as he calmed down enough to stop doing this, I praised him and pet him.
He remained very tense, not wanting to look me or Bria in the eye, or even turn his head toward us. But as SOON as I could see and feel that he had relaxed, I gave him major positive reinforcement, hugs, love, scratches and GOOD BOYs! Within a couple of minutes, Chew had rolled over completely on his back, exposing his belly and wagging his tail! There was a complete change in his energy, and it was magical to see and feel it happen! I believe by providing stable leadership in that moment, and as such not allowing Chew to
Reach that next level of insecurity-fueled agitation, Chew was able to relax, showing us so by putting himself in the most submissive possible position, and totally letting his guard down.
By no means do I think this is a permanent change that has occurred all at once. it will take time and consistency to "re-route" the particular connections in Chew's mind that have, for so long, created the chain reactions that lead to this negative state of mind. But with steady work, I now know it is possible to help him through this...onto the bigger and better things that await him in his future as a SERVICE DOG extraordinaire!
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Thursday, September 20, 2012, 10:01 PM
ATTITUDE TO CHALLENGE Reflection (for Biz Development)
TO COPE WITH A NEW CHALLENGE, IT IS IMPORTANT FOR ME THAT:
* I can see some results quickly, SUCH AS in my present situation, learning to train service dogs. While I don't expect miraculous behaviors to evolve overnight, I need the encouragement I get from seeing a dog respond to me meaningfully in the moment; this motivates me to keep working toward bigger and better pay offs.
* I have feedback from others so I know how well I am doing, SUCH AS in the case of FACEBOOK. As much as I hate to admit it, (and I think most of us do), I THRIVE on positive comments on FB, in response to the work I am doing, the pictures I am taking, the art I am making, etc. I - OF COURSE - also thrive on encouragement and support from my family and friends, of which I am blessed to have an endless supply!
* I know that I am heading in the right direction, SUCH AS has been "proven" to me so many hundreds of times throughout my life's journey. I have always been acutely aware of cosmic information making its way across my mind screen. When I DO SOMETHING or MOVE SOMEWHERE, I am doing so because I am following a higher protocol: Make decisions based on the FAITH that I am heading in the right direction; NOT based on the FEAR that I am heading in the wrong direction.
* I have a clear vision of where I am going, SUCH AS is the case with my being at Bergin U. I know I am exactly where I need to be right now. EVEN THOUGH nothing is set in hardened stone at this point about the exact nature of my future, such is ALWAYS THE CASE. Such...is LIFE. We are malleable clay, constantly changing form and becoming newer versions of what we once were. Therefore, I will become what I am to become when I become it.
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Wednesday, September 19th, 2012
Today, Jeff and I hung out with S. and L., collectively, The Irelands. S. & L. are the wonderful couple that raised Chew and (Jeff's dog, Farmer) as puppies. We are lucky to have them, as they are very involved with Bergin University, and are very supportive of us, the dogs, and everything we have set out to accomplish. They are also raising Chew's brother, Christopher, and another Bergin puppy, named Irai, who are both 100% precious!
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Monday, September 17, 2012, 6:23 PM
Chew and I had a wonderful and very productive day today. We started off at 7:15AM this foggy, crisp Monday morning on kennel duty. We worked, we studied, we played and ran in the big field at school. We practiced behaviors in class, in particular JUMP ON and WAIT...as every Tuesday and Thursday, upon entering the training room, we have the dogs JUMP ON to individual grooming tables, where we brush their hair, have them TURN so we can brush their other side, brush their teeth, clean their ears and file down their toenails. Chew, as usual, was a star. It helps that he LOVES his meat flavored toothpaste :)
We also worked with our puppies today, as we do every day. My little Buddha Belly Baby, Kristina, must weigh twice what she did two weeks ago! But she, like Chew, is growing and learning in leaps and bounds! At eight weeks old, she is already learning upwards of 15 commands! These include SIT, COME HERE, LAP (where she puts her front paws up on my lap as I am knee,ing on the floor), GO IN (which is the command for the dogs to go under a desk or restaurant table, curl up and lay down), OFF, JUMP ON, ROLL, SHAKE, SPEAK, TUG and STAND! Of course with the puppies, we are still in the rudimentary stages of training by luring with food rewards. But WOW, they catch on quick! And they are SO RIDICULOUSLY CUTE I CAN BARELY HANDLE IT!!!!!
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On our walk this evening, Chew and I continued to work on his heeling, and especially his WAITING directly at my side the second I say WAIT, which he was having trouble remembering to do last week at Home Depot. Today I brought treats along, which I do only intermittently and pretty rarely. While I want to use as few food rewards as possible by this point in Chew's training, they are a great motivation booster when used the right way at the right time.
As always, we stopped about halfway through our walk to sit on a shady patch of grass, relax, be goofy and share some love. It is in these moments - and so many others throughout my days at Bergin - that I stop to just be THANKFUL for this incredible opportunity, and revel in how lucky I am to be here, and how hard I have worked to get to this point.
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Another thing we have been working really hard on is one of Chew's few bad habits, which is grumbling under his breath when other dogs have something to say to him; and also when any of the other dogs (in the house or elsewhere) come around when he has a toy or bone in his mouth. Chew is not aggressive in any way, (unless you're a fly, then WATCH OUT because you fly past Chew and you will disappear!). I think he has more of an insecurity, which manifests as subtle possessiveness. This is only in his interactions with other dogs, not people, but it has to stop. As a service dog, Chew must learn that he can NEVER grumble or growl at other dogs. He must maintain the highest level of submissiveness, as we train these dogs to serve people with the highest possible level of physical disability. In other words, whether Chew ends up with a quadriplegic, or someone more able-bodied, he will be trained to the level of skill and precision that would suit him to serve a person paralyzed from the neck down. He has to be gentle, patient, confident, focused and ultimately submissive. And he IS all of these things - and so much more! He is so incredibly smart, and I see more and more each day how much he really GETS what I am asking of him. Furthermore, I believe that he KNOWS what his job entails, and understands the higher purpose behind it, on SOME level, be it a primal one of the unconscious or otherwise. My job between now and December is to help Chew become REFINED at his skills, and become more consistent at practicing what he knows no matter what the context or how stimulating the distractions around him.
Today, I flashed on the image of his graduation...his pairing with his forever partner...that person whose life he will change forever in the mot profound of ways. And I got so full of anticipation and pride that it spilled out in the form of tears.
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Monday, September 17, 2012, 9:56 AM
A note on desensitization training...as this journal has been inspired in part by our Human/Canine Psychology professor, Dr. Gillian Squirrel, and she suggested we reflect on the topic as part of our unit on Operant and classical conditioning...
When I think of desensitization training with dogs - as with almost every other element of interacting with dogs - I look at Cesar Millan's teachings and practices. To clarify, desensitization is a process whereby a person (or dog) learns new, POSiTiVE associations for things that were ingrained earlier on as being very negative.
For example, when bomb sniffing yellow lab,ATF Gavin, came home from Iraq, he was wrought with fear at the sound or vibration of any loud noise; as he associated loud noises with the trauma of war. In essence, the sound of explosions, cars backfiring, or anything of the sort rendered Gavin emotionally paralyzed. He had a severe case of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
At the Dog Psychology Center, Cesar created a "desensitization trailer" specifically to rehabilitate Gavin, in much the same way a person fearful of flying might be rehabbed in an airplane simulator. In this trailer, Cesar put Gavin on a treadmill facing a screen, on which he played videos of fireworks and gunshots. Gavin WALKED ON THE TREADMiLL while (literally) facing his fear, and in this way he could battle his anxiety by PHYSiCALLY MOViNG THROUGH iT simultaneous to PSYCHOLOGiCALLY moving through it.
As a side note, I think this is a BRiLLiANT therapeutic method for facing just about any and every crippling anxiety in a person or dog; because the ROOT of all panic is a feeling of being STUCK with no chance of escape. Also, the element of LOSiNG CONTROL is elemental to every anxiety or panic attack. By WALKiNG THROUGH ONE'S FEAR, an empowering sense of control is restored. MOViNG FORWARD in the BODY is a brilliant tool for MOViNG FORWARD in the MiND.
Anyway, when Gavin would reach even the most "minute" of milestones in his recovery, Cesar would "mark" those instants by rewarding Gavin...not with food rewards, but with praise and scratches and love...and a few minutes iN THE SWiMMiNG POOL! This was the greatest reward of all for Gavin, and Cesar too. With Cesar's help, Gavin made a remarkable recovery, learning to REASSOCiATE loud noises with GOOD THiNGS; thereby becoming DESENSiTIZED to the negative hold on him his past had once claimed.
(Side note on top of side note: My friend Nena edited this particular episode of Dog Whisperer, and she said it was one of the most powerful stories ever documented on the show. I remember him actually crying when Gavin left the Dog Psychology Center).
In conclusion, we can apply this method in our own lives and our dogs' lives, by essentially using the "desensitization trailer" as a metaphor for facing our fears, and ultimately beating them
Sunday, September 16, 2012, 4:46 PM
So, just as I work hard to structure my own time, such that I put equal amounts of energy into work, play, rest and productivity...I am learning how to employ the same strategy in my time with Chew. For example, on Saturday, we went to Sonoma Valley Regional Park and took a nice hike. I had his vest on part of the time, mostly for the sake of taking photos of him "in uniform" in the pretty natural surroundings. But for the most part, I considered that Chew's TIME OFF, to just be a dog and enjoy the smells and sounds of nature.
On the other hand later, when we ended up at a big festival in town celebrating Rohnert Park's 50th Anniversary, I utilized this as productive work time. It occurred to me that Chew (and other service dogs) need to have a clear distinction in their mind between work time and off time. When they're in public, dressed in uniform, they need to know that focus and attention are required of them, and that they are expected to do their job. Though equally important is that we, as trainers, make sure they have balance in their lives, and give them plenty of opportunity to relax and play when they are not working.
We happened upon this big festival by accident, and it ended up being a golden training opportunity. We dealt with crowds, rides and people making tons of noise, movement everywhere, smells of food and all kinds of STUFF (edible and otherwise) on the ground. As usual, Chew navigated the crowd very well, though he definitely gets distracted by the stuff on the ground under his eager nose, and must break the habit of eating tidbits rather than LEAVING them.
Chew does wonderfully with children and adults who want to meet him and shake his hand. He is a wonderful representative of Bergin, and people note all the time how beautiful and sweet he is :)
The lady at the information desk gave him a helium balloon to carry around, which we later "paid forward" to a little girl who had lost her own. I got Chew a jumbo hotdog, (minus the bun and condiments), which I broke up and used as a high value reward for working patiently with me on a "SERVICE DOGS AND CLASSIC CARS" photo shoot :)
Over all, he did great; and we did and generally do great together. I doubt my training capabilities in moments, mostly just because I expect great things from both myself and Chew. But Chew often reminds me that he DOES understand what I am teaching him, and he also helps me remember that we are in this to learn TOGETHER!
Thursday, September 13, 2012, 11:24 PM
My bond with Chew is growing deeper by the heartbeat.
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Tuesday, September 11, 2012, 10:30 PM
Our assignment from Gillian tonight (who teaches both human and canine psychology, and marketing & business development) is to reflect on the question, HOW DO I TRIP MYSELF UP?
Well, I could write on this topic all night long, and will into tomorrow. But rather than dwell on THAT SAME OLD RECORDING LOOP IN MY HEAD (which is, in itself, exactly what trips me up and keeps me from attaining my dreams and goals), I am instead going to focus on my presently unfolding RESOLVE to DEVELOP BEYOND THE TRIP WIRE!
I was so encouraged today...as it was really our first true Business Development lecture, during which it struck me that THIS CLASS in particular is EXACTLY WHAT I NEED! In it, we will be working on business plans, marketing strategies, resumes and professional portfolios. THIS COURSE, along with everything else that will come together in the context of BERGIN STUDENTHOOD, will propel me to the next level, which is precisely the reason I decided to come to school in the first place.
The next awesome encouragement I got was when I ran into Bonnie in the cafeteria, and we ended up eating and talking together through our lunch hour. She told me she knows I have the "Skill and drive" it will take to get Chew to the level he needs to be in order to graduate this fall. Then I talked to her about all of my ideas for business ventures/ (Masters thesis??)...She really liked them all, especially the reality TV show idea for FRISKY FITNESS: helping people lose weight with dogs as fitness partners. She also liked the idea of EXTREME MAKEOVER: ANIMAL SHELTER EDITION, and the idea of a program to help exercise service dogs that may otherwise not get enough down time/ exercise/ fun away from the job.
And the third thing that sent my heart through the roof today was our exercise with the PUPPIES! We worked on three whistle recall...Mindy and Lauren held onto all of our puppies' leashes at one end of the room, while we all lined up facing them at the other end of the room. Bonnie whistled three times, and then we all crouched down and called our puppies' names. Out if the three times we did this exercise, my baby angel girl Kristina came running DIRECTLY INTO MY ARMS twice!!! I was absolutely floored. She is truly beginning to know me, my smell, my sound, my love for her and the behaviors I am training her to complete. At seven weeks old, I already can see that Kristina is a smart and amazing baby dog. And G*%#DAMN SHE IS CUUUUUUTE!!!!!!
After school, Chew and I did some grocery shopping at Target, where several people stopped to shake Chew's hand, and talk to me about the school and Bonnie and the dogs. Chew is such a great ambassador and teacher, such a good and patient boy. I a,ways feel SO PROUD to be with him and representing Bergin University.
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If I am going to be completely honest, I am Struggling with having to let Ember go. I understand this is the whole point of the exercise; and I understand it is not fair to Ember (or her handler for the semester, Rebecca) for me to harbor any sort of emotion that might maintain an "energetic grip" on her. On the other hand, I simply cannot erase how I feel, and I will simply have to GO THROUGH IT to GET THROUGH IT.
On Friday, as our group walked through Target asking our dogs to perform behaviors, I consciously tried to avoid Ember. When she got near me, I moved away. When she looked back at me (which she did several times, undeniably so), I avoided her gaze...which appeared to say, WHY DON'TYOU LOVE ME ANYMORE?
Rebecca is wonderful, and I have no doubt she and Ember will work wonderfully together. I just felt so close to Ember pretty much immediately, and I am struggling to secure as strong a bond with Chew. I KNOW that will change, and that Chew is exactly the dog I am meant to be paired with. After all, everything happens for a reason, and those (people AND dogs) brought into our lives at any given time are brought in to teach us things about ourselves that, while difficult, are likely the most necessary to our development at that time.
But part of me feels slightly "jipped", in that Chew is so far along already in his behaviors and skills...With Ember, I felt like she and I wold go through that part of the learning/ development together as a trainer/ service dog team! I see Chew do his behaviors, and i am thoroughly impressed. But I have no reason to be PROUD, because I have had nothing to do with teaching him the many commands he already knows.
Anyway, again, I KNOW THIS IS ALL FOR A REASON, and I trust that reason will be revealed to me in time. I also accept that these feelings are a part of the process and that, in the long run, having recognized and dealt with them honestly will serve to make me a better trainer, a better student and a better person.
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Thursday, September 6, 2012, 10:31 PM
As I reflect this evening on my "development" as a trainer to date, I am certain of the fact that the developmental process throughout this program will be rapid, intense, profound and continuous.
In just one day, my bond with Chew has grown tremendously. I am getting to know him, and what a silly, sweet, smart boy he is. He, like most Golden Retrievers, displays traits definitive of the "quintessential golden". He is funny, loving and loyal...and just a little bit ditzy :)
But above and beyond the traditional traits he shares with other goldens, Chew's individual personality and learned capabilities make him stand out above many, even most of the dogs in our training class, as he has had the most instruction (I think) of any of the dogs in class.
Though I have yet to train with Chew since we are only two days into our partnership, I took a chance today at the Target checkout counter, and asked him to do an Up/ Get it, to retrieve my debit card from the cashier. And he did it. This was an amazing feeling. Even though I didn't train him to this point in his advanced development as a potential service dog, this got my wheels of anticipation turning for what is possible! I got excited about the prospects for Chew...where his amazing abilities will take him in his life; and likewise, where my experience of working with him, readying him for his important future work, will take me! As I always am when holding the leash of a service dog (in training or otherwise), I beamed with pride at Chew's accomplishment. He makes ME look good!
Later in the evening, Jodie and (her dog) Eric, Daniel and (his dog) Bria, Chew and I took a walk through the neighborhood, and ended up at a local park with a playground. After swinging across the monkey bars jolted me back into the visceral fun and stimulation of childhood activities, I asked Chew to jump up on one of the pieces of playground equipment. It was a fairly high jump, but with encouragement, he took the leap. I invited him up to the next platform, and he came up to that one more easily. I tried to see if he would join me on the side, but for that, he was not yet ready ;)
After playing there, Chew and I ran a giant circle in the grass around the perimeter of the park. Happy and panting after that, we walked on. And two thoughts - both very indicative of my developmental progress as a trainer, a dog whisperer on the verge, and a budding business woman - struck me and have stuck with me:
1. I want to do THIS...Frisky Fitness, running, playing, allowing myself to be hum/an/imal, and allowing dogs to just be dogs... FOR SERVICE DOGS. I want to address the problems of both human and canine obesity, and specifically help service dogs - those that sacrifice their freedom to "play" in trade for their incredibly meaningful work! I want to help people and dogs be healthier and happier, and have more fun. My newest focus is now on the idea of exercising and "pampering" service dogs - with exercise, outdoor adventure time, massage and simple playtime.
2. Chew won't be with me forever, but during this time we have, I must take every opportunity to share the best of me with him. I must stimulate his mind, keep him busy both working and having fun, provide him with rest and relaxation, toys and healthy treats. Our experience on the playground reinforced my drive to get the very most out of my special time with this wonderful dog!
Wednesday, September 5, 2012, 6:20 PM
Today, I said "goodbye" to my sweet girl Ember; and in return for the sting in my heart, got to bring home Chew. Chew is another golden retriever: a male and a total sweetheart. He is from the "C" litter, and therefore has had more training than many of the dogs in class. Chew is set to graduate this December as a full-fledged service dog. I will have the great honor and challenge of helping him get there.
Since - for our Human and Canine Psychology course - We have to maintain a blog-like journal progression throughout the semester, I think I will begin right here, right now, noting what stage/state of DEVELOPMENT both Chew and I are in as we begin our collective journey together toward certification!
I can't say much at all about Chew yet, as he has has just moved into my house (and my world) today. But as he and I move along together, I feel that our joint process (from my perspective at least), could function as a "microcosm" of the student-trainer/ dog-in-training relationship.
Where I stand at this point in my development is AT THE READY. After two weeks of intense boot camp initiation, I feel that while I still have countless volumes to learn, I am prepared to take on the task at hand. I feel that while this whole thing will be mentally, physically and emotionally challenging, I am prepared for the work ahead. And I feel that while Chew and I have a challenging road ahead, and will face obstacles along the way, we will learn...side by side...and we will become a strong and capable service dog and trainer team!
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